I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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