No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
