I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize