Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
