that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
