remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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