so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
