dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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