I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
