I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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