I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
