I feel like abortions should bother me more
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
