when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize