I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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