So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
