How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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