my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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