Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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