She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
