i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
