Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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