The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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