He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
