thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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