she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize