So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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