I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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