69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize