He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think i have two assholes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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