Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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