That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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