I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We need to get me chipped asap
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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