I just pynch a tree in the face
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize