apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
