I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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