I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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