Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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