these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
