Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize