I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
