Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
