I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
