Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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