the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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