Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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