Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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