I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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