I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
