I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
