i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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