I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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