it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
