He uses pillows to masturbate.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I understand Curling. That high.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
