Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize