We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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