I looked at my own cervix.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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