I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
we should paint friendship bongs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
