Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize