Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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