At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
