We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
