you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
