Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
