There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
