You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
