By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So squirting runs in the family.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
