Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
