There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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