Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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