we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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