I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
