I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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