I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
