i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We are all done wearing pants today
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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