Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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