dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
