When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Are we still banned from the library?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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