she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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