Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
