I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
